Such a habit to look up and expect your face to hold some brightness, for me to regain mine.

tweleve fifteen, what a tempting time to tell myself that i deserve my five minutes in bed. no, no matter how loud and desperate your cry is, i will not. i think i might just slap the next dreamer who exclaims "Follow your dreams!" because no, you do not know what it feels like to stand before your fucking dream and be seperated by a thin layer of glass. you stare at your dream that you so badly covet and you visualise how it fits you perfectly but in the midst of all this dreaming, you are so aware of the possibility that your dream is mocking your naviety. just like how this world mocks the truth of my inadequacy.

Keith got his enlistment thing (okay i am quite sure it's not enlistment thing but basically its the letter) and he got posted to Police! heehee we are very excited about it mm actually not quite, I am quite excited about it. i do not know why as well, basically i have a very warped reason for my excitement which is all the raids handcuffs pistol uniform cruisers etc. but anyway, it is bound to die off soon and then the reality will wash over me but i will stay dryyyyyy, i will not be upset. meanwhile, LSE to me is like jimmy choo to every girl. jimmy choo will make them taller and prettier while LSE will bring me higher, smarter. fuck i do hate it when things are out of my reach.. ): but now till forever, i will dwell at Cubicle 8 @ Wishing Well with Keith and try to be good at everything.

oh and graduation day was one of the funniest days i had with dora. what a nice way to end off two years of college life.

Nothing can hold me together like how You do.

Time is merely an indicator of the number of times you have managed to light up my eyes. It is nothing but a count of cold days with showers of harsh words. Every love has its harvest each year. As we have ours, i realise it is only joy encapsulated in Time.

In my deepest moments of slumber, i still feel your hand inching towards mine, or the bed slowly sinking under your weight as you lean over me, or when you pull me over for nuggets of words. My stubborn mind used to think that love should be blindly embracing, i mock myself today because i am wrong. To a friend and a lover, happy one year, you have managed to smoothen the jagged edges of my character over Time.

september was one crazy month with super late nights and stress waves hitting over and over again. just when i thought i had steadied my feet upon the mounting revision, H3 came out of nowhere and it was a round of printing editing binding rebinding. thank you dora for the late night calls that brought so much assurance before i could bring myself to take guilty naps on notes that were strewn over my bed. but boy do i love to work like a dog i am serious i actually feel as good as a dog.

post prelims was emptiness with floating particles of fun here and there. i caught excellent/trashy movies, sleptx100, clubbed heehee and went out with people that i so dearly miss and baked hell lot! (except jm where art thou? thou cursed lips and words i miss) now, i am restored, i am rejuvenated, i am recharged and i am Ready.

for those who are hurting:
i will hurt soon too

Anything for those afternoons
that we care not about the socks on our soles
Nor the guilt in our souls
and just talk till our eyes close
Till our hearts fold

i think i do know why personality tests appeal to me. the uneasiness of ambitions, the nagging frustrations, the splitting aches that resurface at untimely moments, they all form vibrating particles that bounce off each other and eventually, what captures these particles and compartmentalises them, is a piece of paper which words are of pin point accuracy. i read myself off a paper, i go away in amazement and relief that something reads me better than i do.

i love the month of August where there are birthdays and this year doesnt disappoint at all yummy yummy, i am beginning to get spoiled from cakes and cuisines and cool musicians...

he says-
'haha such a loser, failed chinese and got dumped by girlfriend'
'can you dont be so mean it's quite sad okay'
'ya but if i failed chinese and got dumped i would call myself a loser too'
'okay tell me when you fail chinese...'

(where it once used to be a half universe with five fingers, the alternating ten fingers of ours now form a world. your right and my left, like how we always do it. angles are plenty when our world is round, when the heat of the palm thaws the stubborn heart and i will see that five can never be a good restraint, it should never be a restraint. while i hold your heart, your left shall be not be held.)

one in the morning, oh boy oh boy how i will miss such days next year.